Crash and Clash — THE IDEA OF MANHOOD

This isn’t your typical blog post… but it is. I spent half of my career helping students and families with the transition from high school to college… and here we are. My son graduating from highschool seems like a crash and clash of my personal and professional journies and identities. Here are few high level takeaways that reflect those identities that may be helpful to families and educators.

1. There is very little information and/or spaces for families to discuss the challenges and victories of navigating the highschool to post-secondary process.

2. There is a narrative that secondary students and families don’t need or have fewer needs than elementary and middle school students and families. LIES! There is so much that is unsaid about this time in the life of families and students

3. So many of the resources and narrative about post-secondary access and success are framed and formed for first-generation and low-income families… as they should be. AND… when it comes to many underserved populations, the needs are unknown, unstated, or assumed. Even as a professional that knows the resources and process (even as it evolved), there is still a knowledge and resource gap. There are still fundamental aspects of the college-going process that is purposefully challenging to navigate and impacts people of color differently regardless of income level.

4. The process is COMPLEX administratively AND emotionally. The literature and narrative places WAAAAAAAY too much responsibility on the student when their brains, actions, and experiences are not developed enough to navigate such a complex process. Would you send a 17 year old to the DMV (department of motor vehicles) or H&R Block without some guidance? I would’ve given some of the students and families I worked with in the past a bit more grace.

5. And lastly… the process of sending your kids to college or whatever their post-secondary experience will be… is not simply a “process” for families. This is a deeply emotional and seismic shift for families. The emotional, financial, academic, professional implications cannot be minimized or understated. All of the highschool and college counselors, organizations, schools, and colleges have to be more empathic through this process; regardless of where the student comes from and how much money they have. Sometimes we are WAY too casual about the impact of these decisions, and have need to be having different conversations with students and families beyond.

These aren’t meant to be debated… more so just a reflection of a father and educator that is navigating a wonderful and terrifying process. I love every minute of it! Life be life-ing yo!